What is LOVE....

Yes that word, that 4 letter word that is so powerful, yet used so carelessly.....Love wow what an emotion.....The use of that word is used to often ....and in effect it can loose it's power.....
I believe that in life their are a variety of different types of loves.....

One is the the love a parent feels for their child.....Now to clarify a couple of things before I go on.....I realize that their are exceptions to what I am about to write and I understand that some people are just not fit to be parents....also I am writing solely based on my experiences as a mother of two and so what I feel, is based on that and also a collective of various peoples views as well.....

Ok so the love a parent feels for their child is eternal, unconditional, unyielding and incalculable,
the type of of love I feel for my children drives every breathe in my life....before I became a mother my life was all about me and the people around me, I never had to put any-one first, if I did it was a conscious choice, born out a need to be considerate, when I became a mother, the very moment Cody was born was like a switch over, of what my life was driven by, previously as a sole individual I was driven by my own needs, desires, wants or whims....But as a mother it has became all about Cody and now Anthony too, their needs, their wants, their desires, their safety and their lives....
They rely on me to live (what a concept....did you know that the human being is the only species that requires many, many years of constant support and care for survival......)(no other animal needs as much care or nurture as does a human being)
anyway as I was saying they need me, they are dependent on both their parents, to live.....and become emotionally stable and physically fit.....this alone has made my whole thought process change, my drives are not about what I want, but what is best for the children.....As a mother I put them first and foremost in my life and I believe that is, what is right.........I am not stupid I do also realise that self preservation and sanity are extremely important.....I have to have time to be me and to do things for myself, otherwise one can can loose themselves very easily, and one of the biggest lessons you can teach your child is always respect yourself and your values in life, because if you don't have that then what's to work towards, in the end......and if I am not healthy and whole ..... how am I supposed to able to be their for my kids.....
I also realise that their is such a thing as to much love.....and I don't mean that in a sick perverted way either......I believe that it is possible that (not just in this type of love, but in all of them) that you can love to much that it becomes obsessive and overly protective, and in effect can create a situation's where you can cause more damage than good.....

you've all read the stories of these situations ....I am sure....

Anyway....the other and most obvious type of love is the love that is shared between a man and woman.....this is an entirely altogether different type of love.....it in itself can be extremely intense, passionate, volatile, all encompassing yet strangely unreal, and it can also be eternal and incalculable....I don't think that it is unconditional, because when you fall in love with a person you fall in love with the person they are then and not what they can become.....and sometimes what a person becomes is not really all that lovable ....so the love can fade and change until it's not their anymore.....I believe that this love is one that has to be worked on constantly it should not be left to die, because it is rare in life that you find true love, but I believe that once you have been touched by it ....you will never forget what it feels like.....
Also their are stages in this type of love and that is normal....for the first year or maybe two it is what I call in the head over heels type love where nothing is wrong and everything is right....in a sense...lol...(give me a break this all very complicated and hard to put into words) Then there is the stage where your love matures into comfort, stability and security, this is the stage that I believe that patterns of behaviour and new skills of maintaining the love that two people share should be developed, this is where if the couple is serious should start making concerted efforts and plans for long term love maintenance......so that the love never fails ....

Anyway.... now I am going to try and talk about what makes love work in my mind....well the key factors that are required to sustain a long term love relationship......

*Respect
*Honesty
*Communication
*Compassion
*Understanding
*Trust
*At least a few things in common
*A connection
*Obviously sexual desire or attraction
*Complimentary Values.....not necessarily the same but at the least complimentary

Is it a wonder why it is so hard to find that perfect love or dare I say soul mate.....I think if you have more of these thing's than you don't, I feel that you can compromise, but if you have less of these things than you do ...a person in this type of relationship will never be happy......

Well these are a few of my musings on the subject of LOVE......what a complicated yet exhilarating emotion.....

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